i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize