She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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