i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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