Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
