Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's blow job season.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
