Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
