How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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