...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Randomize
