First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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