i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
