Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Send help, water and tortillas.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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