yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
