I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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