Me too!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize