Screwed.edu
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
