the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
