You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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