That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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