I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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