508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
