porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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