she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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