I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
