I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
