Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
