can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
