You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
