We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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