Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize