Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
