i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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