I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
