i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
