two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize