he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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