I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
