Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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