dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
