I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
