He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Randomize
