do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
