I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
