every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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