Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
not ubering you a puppy
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
