marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
