the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
