Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize