so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
