This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have fence marks all over my body
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
