he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
