Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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