Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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