gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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