no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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